Það eru sem betur fer nokkrir í kvartmílubransanum sem hafa þroska og nægt sjálfstraust til að gera grín að sjálfum sér. Hérna fyrir neðan eru 19 dæmi af ævintýrum Moparkalla og kellinga á kvartmílubrautinni. Sögurnar eru teknar af westurheimsku spjallborði þar sem menn voru beðnir um að segja frá vandræðalegum atvikum sem þeir höfðu orðið fyrir á kvartmílubrautinni. Mér finnst sögur nr. 3, 7 og 10 æðislegar:
1.. I pulled the steering wheel off on the launch now I pull on the wheel before I get full staged.
2. I once ran a 20+ second et on a mid 10 sec dial because I forgot to take my towel off the carb.
3. in 1974 at national speedway, i had my 70 cuda 440-6 and ran over jungle jims foot and jungle pam yelled at me. i think he was stoned at the time, he didnt feel anything he said
4. Back in about 1980, was driving through the pits to get to the staging lanes to run, at OCIR in So. Cal. when my brake pedal broke off and I ran into Lee Shepherds Pro Stock.
That car was possessed.
5. it's sunday morning at the track. early. i'm literally the only one up and about. it's so quiet i could hear a fish fart. i go for a walk. it's beautiful, warm, the sun is rising. i explore areas of the track i've never seen first hand. suddenly, i have a "magic moment". you know, i gotta go! lo, and behold(in that order), i come upon a rarely used porta potty in pristine condition. it might as well be in the middle of death valley. total quiet and privacy, at a race track, no less! nice! i sit. i hear a distant vehicle. eh, it's nothin'. i commit. the vehicle gets louder. what, me worry? what could go wrong? i'm crowning. now this rig is getting close fast, and i begin to realize that, yes, this setup was too good to be true. this truck skids to a stop outside my door, and starts pumping the potty next to me. i hear men speaking in hushed tones. i finish. i open the door, and one turns to the other and says,"told ya!" sorry, i don't have any pictures or video.
6. Mid-'90s, ARCA race at Daytona, all-volunteer pit crew (problem #1 right there ). I was helping another guy with rejetting the carb before practice, no big deal. Then car wouldn't start, the helper kid had flooded it.
7. Was getting fuel and had been running fine before, so we suspected the ignition. The smart-aleck kid with the IQ of Forrest Gump was in the car cranking it, with the other mechanic looking down the carb, when I heard the jerk say, "Awww, hell! I forgot the ignition switch..." I moved back right before the 13.8:1 small block backfired and shot flames 4 feet into the air. The other guy lost his hair and eyebrows and he and Gump-boy had a knock-down drag-out fight right there in the garage. A nearby ESPN camera crew asked, "Who are they? What happened?" I said, "I have no idea. Never seen them before."
8. my wifes drunken friend staggering around in the pits trying to bum rides with the cars.... She no longer is welcome to go with us....
9. Mine was during my first year of racing and my first time in front of a large crowd of spectators (of course.) The sun was bright, I didn't have my sunglasses (rookie mistake) and I couldn't make out the christmas tree lights. I kept edging forward more and more, wondering why the heck I wasn't tripping the prestage lights?...Finally I looked over at the guy in the other lane and saw he was almost a whole car length back. I had gone completely through the lights and then some. The starter waved me back and was laughing. I think the announcer mentioned what I had done on the loudspeaker too.
10. I had worked on my race car untill the last possible minute. Left home in a hurry and got to the track just in time.. Went to open up my enclosed trailer to get the race car out.. My expression was kinda sour when I looked inside an empty trailer. We had forgot to load the car....
11. Back in the mid 90's the new track owners built a cinderblock wall behind the burnout box to protect the cars crossing over to the staging lanes. Myself and a friend were standing at the front of the staging lanes talking and a Vega backed into the box, he did a smokey burnout and backed right into the block wall knocking it down. The track owner's wife came out screaming for him to leave the track and to not come back.
12. Let my mom drive the race car for warm up at the track. I told her to get on it a little bit.
I sent her off for the joy ride while still holding the HOOD PINS!!
I didn't realize it until I saw my car coming back up the return road with the hood folded back up and over the roof of the car!
Totally my fault but it embarassed her and myself
13. Hit 4th gear,driveshaft broke in two, front half flew up and banged the pass floor pan,ripped a hole in it,rear half beat on the track,ripped the yolk off the rear axle,trans fluid puked all over my lane,car got squirelly,tach flew off dash,hit me in the head(With helmet on)glove box came open,extra points and such flew out....all under 12 seconds...came home and the overrunning clutch had blown up,split the trans case...needless it was a very embarrasing moment and costly....
14. Mine was a couple of maybe 10 years ago or a little more. I was helping someone and riding in the pass. door jamb of the car and I thought he was stopping so I went to get out. My foot caught the ground and got sucked up under the slick and sucked me right out of the car and he ran completely over me. He didn't even realize it had happened. Wiped the blood off helped him make the run and when he got back to the trailer there were about 30 people around the trailer checking to make sure I was ok.
15. Driving on the trailer...in a big hurry...start to get out over the side bar...car wasn't all the way in park...my big A$@ half if/half out of the car while it's rolling back off the trailer
16. Going to test and tune with my new killer trans...rolling it out of the trailer...warm the car...go to back away and head to tech...WHAT??!! No reverse?? &&^%??_)(%%% transmission is junk. What till I see the guy that sold it to me! Back in the trailer and home we go. When I'm telling my buddy about this later, he quietly reminds me that the transbrake button needs to be pushed to activate reverse...
17. I once backed my car off the trailer, problem was I left the ramps in the back of the truck. Not sure how I forgot them but I did lol. I got the floor jack out, jacked the car up and put the ramps under it lol. Flowmasters are tough, they can support the wieght of the car.
18. At a recent semi high $ race, $200 buy in. I pull into to water box, do my normal routine. Then I notice the water box guy and the starter looking under the car. I'm thinking damn, I'm leaking something. Sure enough the tell me to back up, I'm leaking stuff out of the trunk area. I'm thinking I forgot to put the gas cap on. As I'm taking the trunk lid off a fellow racing is telling me whatever it is it was foaming. I look at him like he's from another planet. Get the trunk lid off look at the gas tank, cap is in place. Start looking around and to my surprise I see a diet Coke can laying on it side spilling coke. That is the most expensive Diet Coke I've ever had........
19. Last year, at the NHRA national event in Maple Grove I was running my B-1 dragster in Super Comp. I did the usual flying burnout and staged the car. Hit the trans brake button and floored it only to have the car go straight backwards. Rick Stewart is glaring at me and the other guy is headed down the track with my red light on. Checked shifter and it was indeed in first ('Glide). Hit the button again and gave it gas and it went backward again. Now Stewart is getting pi$$ed and I'm feeling really small. Had to take the car down the old return road on the side of the track in front of all the spectators. When I got down to the end the thing was blowing steam all over the place. Damn!, I forgot to turn on the fan! Drove back to my trailer with it blowing steam and water all over the place - $h!t - I forgot to turn on the water pump too! What a maroon!! Turns out I had the shifter misadjusted and it caused the first gear band to get smoked out. If the band is gone and you activate the brake you get - you guessed it - REVERSE.